Sunday, April 26, 2015

Baby 2 Pregnancy Journal: Week 32!

Notice anything else that's different? ;)
*I'm actually at 33 weeks now. 32 weeks was 4/19/15.*

This baby deep inside of me, ever so small, is a child of God. A child that God gave to me to take care of whether for a day or for years. That care began at conception. Whether he or she lives or dies each day I am with him or her is a gift and has a purpose with eternal consequences. My baby is now a part of my life, my testimony. -Brenda Rodgers, "New Rules for Announcing a Pregnancy"

How far along: 32 weeks!
"In these past few weeks, it's all about practice, practice, practice as she hones the skills she'll need to thrive outside the womb — from swallowing and breathing to kicking and sucking. And speaking of sucking, your little one has been able to suck her thumb for a while now. Something else to note: As more and more fat accumulates under your baby's skin, she's becoming less transparent and more opaque.-What to Expect When You're Expecting, 4th Edition

Baby size:  "tipping the scales at almost four pounds and topping out at just about 19 inches.-What to Expect When You're Expecting, 4th Edition

Since Tennyson was born close to this time, it's been really neat to have a comparison of about how big she is to how big he was after he arrived. (Actually, she's probably bigger than he was at that point since he was 3 weeks growth restricted). When she moves, I can so perfectly picture her little head or hand or foot! The idea of her being so big and even getting bigger while still on the inside is a little mind-boggling for me. The fact that pregnancy goes beyond this point is in itself a little astonishing to me. I've never experienced such! haha
Gender: Girl!

Belly: Oh, this belly! It, and I, feel huge! We're going to be quite impressive by the time she arrives! haha!

Sleep: Sleep has become rather fitful. I seem to be having trouble getting into a deep sleep. I toss and turn most nights, and by the time morning arrives I am ready to be done even trying to sleep. Haha. As a result, I try to get in at least a 30 minute nap in during the day.


   I know that I better take advantage of resting when Tennyson does during the day because soon there will be another little one needing my attention. There probably won't be too many occasions in which their naps will align allowing me to get that daily rest.

Clothes: I picked up a few tops at the local consignment event recently. I don't want to buy too many more maternity pieces this late, but I do want to have sufficient warmer weather maternity clothes. (The majority of both my pregnancies have been in the winter).

Movement:  I think taking care of a toddler and housework each day counts as adequate exercise! It can be rather tough to keep up at times! haha.

Baby Movement- She's not doing quite as full of movements, but she can still get in some strong kicks, punches and wiggles. One afternoon we were watching her move and could see the definition of her little fist or forearm. It was pretty neat! I'm looking forward to her joining us, but I'm also really going to miss ever feeling a baby move within me. I love all those wiggles and kicks!

Food aversions: I don't think there are any anymore. Anything and everything sounds and tastes fantastic.

Food cravings: Absolutely everything! I'm always hungry and always eating something. I'd love to say that it's always healthy food, but this baby girl loves her sweets! hehe.

Symptoms: Heartburn and reflux have picked up big time. It's not uncommon for me to wake up feeling like a fire-breathing dragon. The Pepcid bottle has become a fixture on my nightstand! haha.

What I'm excited about: I love looking down at this growing baby belly and feeling her there! I keep flashing back to the fact that Tennyson was nearly here at this point. When I pulled up the 32 week entry from the pregnancy post I wrote with him to get the baby size and development information, I realized that that was the last update I had made. As I reread it I thought, "Oh, honey. If only you knew you'd be delivering that baby the next week!" Thus, my current anxiety for her arrival. This being the same time that he arrived has made me a little on edge. Although, I absolutely want her to remain in and develop as long as possible, I'm also getting ready to have her with us on the outside. We don't know when she'll arrive. We just know it could be anytime between now and 40 weeks. These may be some pretty long weeks!

     I'm down to the last few shots! I'm beyond thrilled to finally be finishing them. I've done all that I can to endure and give her the best chance. I really, really hope that we can consequently skip the NICU stay. I would really like to have the dream come true of us being able to bring her home immediately.

In Other News:
     Speaking of the shots, I'm grieved by the knowing that if I have to do them again, then she'll be our last baby. I tear up every single time I think or say that. I'm really struggling to accept that reality. :/

      We're down to having OB appts. every two weeks. At the last appointment, we had a little discussion regarding delivery options. If she is head down, then he's confident for me to attempt a VBAC. I had assumed a repeat c-section, but now I'm actually considering a VBAC. There are lots of factors that would determine that decision yet (one of which being where would Tennyson go at a moment's notice considering we don't have family anywhere close). However, a part of me wants to attempt it still. I don't know if we'll actually do it or not. I don't feel prepared in the slightest bit for a non C-section delivery. I don't even know where to start at this point! But, if she is my last baby then this is my only chance at it. I can't carry babies, and so I at least want this one part to be an "I can do it!" experience. Perhaps it's not the best rationale but the inability to carry and deliver babies has remained constant struggle for me. I'll never know if I was capable of non-surgical delivery unless I try, right?


     My mind has been fixated on her arrival. Since we know that she could arrive any time between now and eight more weeks, I've been in constant prep mode. I keep thinking, "okay, if we were to need to suddenly head to the hospital right now: 1) are our bags close enough to being packed that finishing them would be quick? 2) do we have adequate food and/or meals in the house? (because I'm not going to want to do grocery shopping soon after returning home) and 3) will whoever that comes to help us following her delivery be seeing our home as tidy and well managed, or chaotic and messy? (This one may not be the most critical concern, but it does mean quite a bit to me). These concerns and more are ever present. It's tough having such a long period of anticipation!

32 weeks completed! How many more to go? :)

2 comments:

  1. How exciting to see that belly growing! I'm so happy for you! And yes, it becomes a whole different experience when they get those big strong limbs closer to the 40 week mark! I have the funniest videos on my phone of my belly going wild when I was 41 weeks. I am praying for you whatever happens, that you have a healthy delivery and baby. Hopefully you can try for a VBAC. As the recovery is so much easier than a c-section, it might end up being the easier way to go in the end (although that "I could go at any moment" part is a bit scary). Praying for you and your family. You will do great!

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    1. Thanks, Amy! This baby must have more room because she wiggles so much more than Tennyson did! It's actually hard to believe that she is as big, if not bigger, as he was when he was born! The memory of him at this point has been so fresh on my mind. We're officially past his gestational age at delivery. (I'm currently 33 weeks and 3 days, and Tennyson was born at 33 weeks and 2 days). Each and every day counts, and I'm so grateful! (Though, I'm feeling more third trimester symptoms than I ever knew existed, despite this being my second pregnancy! haha).

      I've been giving much consideration to VBAC. I'd really like to try. As you've mentioned, recovery from a surgical vs. non-surgical delivery are very different. During our NICU stay, I could always immediately tell which ladies had a C-section and which did not. I envied the recovery of non-surgical deliveries! A better recovery would be really nice in regard to the fact that I'll have a young toddler who will still want lots of Mama time. I'm a little concerned about how he'll deal with Mama suddenly not being able to pick him up, carry him, or cuddle as easily if I need a repeat C-section. We'll do what we have to do though. I know my husband will be wonderful in caring for Tennyson while I'm not able to do so as fully as I'd like. I think at this point, I'm going to pursue a VBAC unless told otherwise (such as she's breech, which is still a strong possibility). In the meanwhile, I'll try to prepare myself as best as possible for either situation.

      Thank you for the prayers and encouragement! It's great to hear from you! I hope all is well with your family!

      p.s. the "I could go at any moment" is the state we're in for the next SEVEN weeks. Such a long time of anticipation! haha

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