Sunday, January 25, 2015

Baby 2 Pregnancy Journal: Week 20!

This baby deep inside of me, ever so small, is a child of God. A child that God gave to me to take care of whether for a day or for years. That care began at conception. Whether he or she lives or dies each day I am with him or her is a gift and has a purpose with eternal consequences. My baby is now a part of my life, my testimony. -Brenda Rodgers, "New Rules for Announcing a Pregnancy"

 
How far along: 20 weeks! We're over halfway there! Hard to believe this little one could be here as soon as only 13 weeks (but hopefully 15 weeks). Wow! Time has flown by in this pregnancy!

Baby size:  "size of a small cantaloupe ... about 10 ounces and 6 1/2 inches (crown to rump)" -What to Expect When You're Expecting, 4th Edition
 
Gender: Girl!
 Weight gain: No new number this week. My next OB appointment is next week, and so I'll have a new number for the next post (week 22).
 
Belly: Getting bigger! I'm much bigger than I was with Tennyson (though that doesn't necessarily mean the baby's bigger). It's definitely getting more difficult to maneuver through tasks during the day, especially carrying Tennyson. I'm trying to imagine managing when I'm even bigger later on. yikes! haha.
 
 Sleep: Sleep is...well, sleep doesn't really happen anymore. For one reason or another I just don't sleep well at night. I absolutely have to take at least an hour nap during the day to get through the rest of the day.
 
Symptoms: Fatigue is fairly constant since I struggle to sleep well at night. Daily naps really help though. Other than that, I've probably been a little on the hormonal emotional side (at least I get that impression). I do what I can, but these things happen when you're growing another person on the inside. hah.
 
One the delightful symptom side, I'm loving the effect pregnancy is having on my hair. It's never been healthier looking. Yay!

 Clothes: I still need to fill in the gaps to be fully prepared for postpartum. I learned a good lesson last time in having not been prepared with proper clothes to wear after the baby arrives, especially for frequent hospital visits. With only 13-15 weeks left, I'm feeling like it's crunch time to get things fully ready.
 
Movement: I'm still moving pretty good. I can't say much for exercise. Maintaining the house and caring for Tennyson has been pretty good exercise in my opinion! haha.


Baby Movement: She loves to kick, especially in the late evenings. She can get in some really good kicks sometimes!
 
Ah, I just love the little movements! Big beautiful baby belly and little kicks are definitely my favorite aspects of pregnancy!
 
 Food aversions: Not sure. I still don't have as strong of a preference for meat and heavy meals, but that's pretty typical even when not pregnant.
 
Food cravings: I still love sweets far more than I should. I've come to enjoy a glass of chocolate instant breakfast before bed each night. It's my something sweet in the day. hehe. It's at least better than a chocolate cupcake or other dessert!

What I miss: Going for longer periods of time without a bathroom break! I feel like I'm well acquainted with every restroom location when we go out. In our home...thank goodness, we have a bathroom on each floor. hahaha.
 
It's getting harder to carry and hold Tennyson. I'm trying hard to not hold him in such a way that he'd put pressure on my belly. He's getting to be a big, heavy boy though. I manage during the day, but am glad to relinquish the holding and carrying to David when I can. We still get in our Mama - Tennyson time though.
 
 What I'm excited about: I'm getting pretty excited to meet her! I feel so blessed to have her.

 
What I'm nervous about: The weekly shot still makes me a bit nervous each week. How well it goes depends entirely on the nurse, and not all nurses are equally skilled. Fortunately, four out of five shots so far have been manageable. I've actually felt pretty encouraged about being able to endure the remaining 15, and/or be able to do it all again if we were to have another child. Another week, though, and praying for the best.

     I'm quite nervous about managing in my mothering when I have two little ones demanding of me all day and night and I having had so little rest. Inadequate rest is a big trigger for a lack of self-control for me, particularly in regard to emotions. Sometimes I lose my patience with Tennyson (particularly when he doesn't sleep well and I desperately need some rest). He's struggling with fatigue, discomfort from teething, or something else in which he's needing comfort and love from his Mama. My response isn't always considerate of that fact. I'm not as patient, gentle and loving as I wish to be. I'm nervous about there being more demand on me and less support when I need it most. Yet, I know that guilt and nerves won't get me too far too fast. The best I can do is just keep trying my best one day at a time. I believe God has entrusted these little ones to us to raise well. I can do this.

3 comments:

  1. You look beautiful Whitney! What a gorgeous belly and that maternity shirt is so pretty. I don't think anyone is at their best when they are hungry or tired, and I know in pregnancy those feelings are just amplified. I imagine it has been very humbling to try to temper those feelings, especially around Tennyson. How long will we be able to hide our human failings from our children? :) I am wondering, are the doctors going to allow you to go into labor on your own or is 35 weeks some kind of cut-off date? I know you won't necessarily carry that long anyway, but if 35 weeks came and you were still pregnant, would they allow you to keep going?

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    1. Thank you, Amy! That's very sweet of you.

      One of my greatest fears of being a wife and mother is not successfully "temper(ing) those feelings." I know from experience the instability and broken relationships/home caused by a lack of self-control. May I one day reach the point of greater self-control with the Lord's help. Always a work in progress.

      In regard to labor- it will depend on two factors: 1) the baby's position as head down or breech (breech is very likely with this condition) and 2) degree of growth restriction. If the baby reaches a certain degree of growth restriction then the decision will be made to induce (if baby's head down and we choose VBAC) or schedule a C-section. If the restriction isn't severe then I will be allowed to continue the pregnancy until labor (if we choose a VBAC). If we don't choose a VBAC then, again, we'll go as long as possible until it appears it is time to schedule a C-section (due to growth restriction or I go into labor but the baby's breech). I haven't totally eliminated the possibility of delivering VBAC if the opportunity arises. However, there are a lot of factors to consider in making that decision. It's kind of a waiting game until later. They will do a test every two weeks which can determine if I'll go into labor within the next two weeks. We'll be able to make more of a decision based on that.

      It's complex for me to have a baby, but I'm so grateful I'm still able!

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    2. I hope that made sense. Haha. The 35 week mark is just an expected maximum for being able to carry. This condition very, very rarely carries as long as I have. I'm still planning on being prepared by 33 weeks (Tennyson's arrival), but would love to see 35 even if it meant bedrest. :)

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