We had our suspicions, but weren't certain. All of a sudden so many things had changed- skin blemishes (ugh!), food preferences, disorganized thinking and/or behavior (ie pregnancy brain!) etc. Of course, there was the obvious sign of cycle days getting uncharacteristically long.
There was also the unfortunate demise of my milk supply. My supply regularly drops around "that time of the month" but this time it's stayed low. Now that we know what's changed, we're certain he's not getting enough milk. Fortunately, I have a deep freezer full of pumped milk (perks of having had an enormous oversupply for months). So, the plan is to switch to offering him a bottle/cup of pumped breastmilk when I would normally nurse him. I'll continue to nurse him before naps and bedtime, so he'll still be getting some but will no longer be dependent on breastfeeding directly. Rather sad to miss those moments, but I am so very grateful we've been able to nurse for so long. I learned that it's rare for a preemie to breastfeed directly. He's done so well and I've so enjoyed those times together. Soon, I'll be sharing those moments with another little one!
I decided earlier in the week that it would probably be wise to order some tests to have ready for whenever needed. (I get them for less than a dollar from Kisses From Above). Since we practice "not trying but not preventing," a test could be needed at any time. Little did I know it would be this time! The ordered tests are expected to arrive on Friday. (Um..what do I do with them now?!) Anticipation got the best of me though. I had to know! So, I made an errand to the store this evening.
"Positive." I can't believe it! I thought I would have trouble conceiving like before and would need to go the herbal route to balance hormones first (and stop nursing at that time as well). Not this time! I actually took the test to my husband to verify. Showing him the wand was something I never thought I'd ever do! But, I was so overjoyed. I think my tears gave it away because one look at my face and his face changed as well. We hugged and kissed and shared our excitement for this new little one.
My husband truly is incredible. Having gone through all the hardships and challenges we experienced with the first pregnancy, C-section delivery, the preemie days (not the same as the newborn stage!), and tremendous financial demand, he's still completely open and excited for another child. He's confident that we can do it, and so am I.
Although, some days I don't feel like I'm doing too well with managing just one child and the home. Then, David gently reminds me that if he didn't believe that I could do it then he would have insisted we pursue a prevention method. Furthermore, God has blessed us with this child, and so clearly he believes I'm capable. I just need to remind myself those two truths when I fret and have a little faith in myself. Fortunately, I have several months to get really organized and prepare myself for life with two children...only 15 months apart!.
Goodness, I still can't believe it. We're planning on waiting to make the news official to friends and family until a time in which we can all be together. I'm both bursting to share and highly hesitant. We're delighted at the prospect of another child. We've long held that we would be open to God's timing and a "larger" family ( though 3-4 is the max permitted by C-section). We know that others will have a different perspective and/or will have opinions regarding our situation of a high-risk pregnancy and premature delivery. I've certainly heard some speak so hatefully regarding "large" families (3+ = large) and closely spaced children. Oh, the talk that will be generated about us having a second child with our situation and only 15 months younger than our first child! Oh well, it's our life and we're delighted.
*Sigh* I just can't believe it.
Thank you Lord for blessing us once again
p.s. Sorry, if this post seems scattered or incomplete in thought. Serious case of pregnancy brain!